Do You Remember – Adverts

A little boy playing with his red car which he pretends to fill with petrol. It roars off, scorching the carpet and making a hole in the wall.

In a separate ad for the same product, a baby in a pram is chased by two traffic cops on motorbikes.

Pump up your performance with ……

Featuring an Idi Amin look-alike. What have they been having?

A separate ad in the same campaign features a stripper meerkat in front of a young woman’s TV.

A weedy guy and girl are sitting on the beach when a strapping bully kicks sand into the other’s face. A quick bite of a slice of bread, well spread, and the big guy gets his comeuppance.

I eat the sugar-free version of this product with a spoon from the tub. Not quite yum, yum, rather…….

Neighbours in a lower-middle-class suburb bicker over home improvement choices over the common wall, with the snobby Nige consistently outdone by the practical Bob’s discovery of affordable, high-quality tiles at …….?

Throughout my childhood, and again during Covid, this became my fall-back body lotion. According to the manufacturers, this “skin doctor” was at the Battle of Waterloo (1815), being used for “hands, knees, heels and elbows.” They’ve now brought out a range of new, lighter body lotions and creams, but I still prefer the original one.

This is a beautiful advert featuring an adult elephant and a cute little baby — in real life they were probably mother and calf. Its cinematography is set to the ballad “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother.” I loved the ad, but like most people, although I watched it often, I had no idea what was being advertised. The company name at the end meant nothing to me. Only now, 35 years later, have I found out what was being advertised.

The ballad, written by Bobby Scott and Bob Russell, was first made popular by the Hollies in 1970, reaching No. 1 on the Springbok hit parade. It’s based on a Boys Town motto: “He ain’t heavy, Father. He’s my brother” — apparently the reply an older boy at Boys Town, carrying a younger boy suffering from polio, gave in response to a question from the priest.

The little boy in this advert is sitting eating toast and spread. In response to questions, it becomes apparent that he names all his favourite things, including his pets, after his favourite spread. What is it? For a while, during Covid, it disappeared, but it came back.

Looking at the advert now, I’m sure the child is wearing a wig. I wonder why?

“They taste so good because they eat so good.” What is the product brand, or who is speaking?

Muriel and Mavis are driving in an old-style blue Mercedes Benz. Muriel’s driving is fast, erratic and dangerous, with people just getting out of her way in time.

“Muriel.” “Yes, Mavis.” “Do you know that you have just gone through a red light and over a roundabout, and you haven’t even slowed down.” Replies Muriel: “Am I driving?” Mavis: “You are driving.”

An insurance advert — do you remember which company?

I loved this ad. The actors were great and it caught on, although the product is no more.

Manicurist: “How’s your daughter doing?”
Customer: “Ag, she is doing fine, she has just discovered the internet and email…… for R79 per month.”
The manicurist finds the low price difficult to believe.
Manicurist: “Serious?” Customer: “Serious.” Manicurist: “Serious?” Customer: “Serious.” Manicurist: “Serious?” Customer: “Seer-i-ous-ly,” she emphasises.

For months, people were going around saying “serious — serious — seer-i-ous-ly.”

One of my favourite adverts: an English-speaking black couple stand in a dried-out pan admiring the view. They’re on their way to Touws River. A white Afrikaans farmer arrives with good intentions and practically kidnaps them. It’s obviously a fairly isolated environment, and he probably hasn’t seen other people for days. There’s a serious breakdown in communication, and, to the consternation of the black couple, they’re towed to the farmhouse. The farmer’s wife welcomes them, and drinks are served all round.

The black man proposes a toast: “Nkos,” says he. The farmer replies, “Ja, en kos, ek is ook nogal honger.”

After a full-on meal, the two men are sitting having a drink and the farmer offers another. The black man responds in true South African fashion: “Eish!” “Ja,” agrees the farmer — “met ys.” What are they drinking?

Look out for the well-endowed young lady who can’t find her chips on her plate — we all know someone like that (Nando’s advertising a double-breasted burger).

The young plaasmeisie who says “Ag, Henry, I love it when you talk foreign,” as Henry reads the coffee options off a Wimpy serviette.

“Thandi. There is no Cremora in the fridge.” “It is not inside, it’s on top.” You either like it or you don’t.

As a big Cadbury’s Lunch Bar fan, I loved the caber-tossing Makatini and his Scottie dog.

There’s a Spur advert that reminds me how overtly “US Indian” the Spur used to be, with all those things hanging from the roof and children’s boxes with headdresses, masks and paper tomahawks — plus lots of Tiffany-style lamps. Despite the name, and the Indian-style store names continuing, one realises the stores are deliberately denatured of much of the Indian theme.

As a child, we played Cowboys and Indians, or Cowboys and Crooks. I wonder why? Possibly it was those Zorro-style movies shown as the first half of a Saturday morning matinee. In the centre of Pretoria there used to be a T-room café that showed “child-appropriate movies,” accompanied by popcorn and watered-down Coke. Like many other mothers, mine dropped me there while she worked Saturday mornings.

The most iconic advert growing up was braaivleis, rugby, sunny skies and that American car you no longer see. Oh yes — a Chevrolet.

The one ad I could not find again, but saw about six weeks ago: “Dem ‘stones, dem ‘stones, dem Firestones. Dem stones were made to roll.” The traffic cop directs traffic as the wheel roll on.