This booklet grew out of my own experience of caring for my husband, Paul, through a long illness, arranging his end-of-life care and then dealing with the practical and financial consequences of his death. It also draws on experiences shared by friends and others. It is not a set of instructions for how anyone should grieve or make decisions. It is intended to make people aware of what may lie ahead, because few of us know how much there is to do when a spouse or partner dies. All to often those left to comfort us also have no experience and lovingly and accidently steer us in the wrong direction.